Growing up was not easy for me. I didn't feel like anyone really knew me. I didn't have any confidence or sense of who I was going to be. I didn't see myself anywhere. I didn't have a role model. I didn't feel like anyone could really see me for me. I had to reshape my whole understanding of the world as I got older and started to accept who I am. I had to make my own way, set my own terms, make my own mistakes, pick myself back up and find my own strength.
I found my soul through music, my heart through movies, my mind through books, and my strength through the life I've lived. I've learned a lot, most of it the hard way. I know it helps to feel understood. It helps to see yourself reflected in your popular culture, in music, TV shows, movies, and books. It helps to have someone like you making a positive impact, someone to look up to. Visibility. It helps. And it helps to be seen. It helps to know that even if they don't completely understand, someone sees you for who you really are. They see past the illusions, the walls, the front you put up. Humans seem to have a need to be acknowledged, almost more than we need to feel understood. We want our world to see us. That is the other side of visibility. It is more than just what we see. We also need to be seen.
Or at least I do. I have been lucky to grow up in a time where there were positive female images in my world, not enough, but some. And there were even a few gay female images for me to take in as a kid. Very few, and mostly limited, but better than it used to be. But I never saw myself. The images I saw didn't feel like me. I didn't feel seen in my real life either. I felt invisible, like I was disappearing. I was fading fast, losing all sense of who I was and nobody seemed to notice. Of course it was only because I was pushing everyone away, but it still hurt. I didn't see my reflection and I felt invisible.
Some people ask why I care so much about movies, about gay characters on TV, about any of it. I think this answers that question. It matters because all of the progress that has been made is not enough. We sit here saying that it gets better, and it does. But not fast enough. It needs to get better faster. The whole world needs to change. We need to wake up. We are not in a place where we can say that it doesn't matter anymore. I am not saying that TV and movies are going to save the world. I am not that naive. Our world leaders need to stop equating homosexuality with sin, evil, sickness, or anything less than equal. People need to start being kinder to each other. We need to treat others better. But pop culture is part of the equation too. The more positive images of gay people that are out there, and the greater variety that these images show, can help reduce stereotyping, fear and hatred. At least that is what I believe.
I also believe that these images can have the ability to help kids who feel alone. Maybe they will see someone with a similar story in a wide release movie, or on their favourite show and maybe it will help them feel understood and seen by their world. We need a variety of positive images of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender characters on our TV's and in our movies. And we need to wake up. Our world has changed and it is better. In Canada, sexual orientation was not a protected ground of discrimination in the Charter until 1995. That is not that long ago. It has gotten better. But that does not mean that it is time to stop fighting. There is still a lot that needs to change. It needs to get even better. We can all make a difference, make a change, and make it better. We all need to be seen and accepted.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
But you turn right over to the TV page
One of the things I love about September is new TV seasons. This week I have watched the returns of 5 shows and watched the premieres of 5 new shows. Keeping up with TV is difficult when you work nights but so far, so good. All this television made me realize a few things: #1: I see everything through a feminist lens. I can't look at entertainment without noticing the strength and depth of the female characters. #2: I really like gay and lesbian storylines and will watch shows I would otherwise abandon if they have gay characters. #3. I have a thing for cop shows.
So my television agenda for this season looks like this so far: How I Met Your Mother, Glee, Unforgettable, Grey's Anatomy, Prime Suspect, 2 Broke Girls, New Girl, Law and Order SVU, CSI, and The Playboy Club. I am not yet 100% committed to all of them but I will in brief detail why I am giving them a shot. Sidenote: I would love to say that I could review my TV weekly, or give some thoughts or analysis, but realistically, it won't happen. Life is too busy and I often fall behind but who knows what might happen.
How I Met Your Mother: Sometimes I don't remember why I still watch this show. It is funny, but last season kind of sucked. All I really remember is that Cameron from House was in it and kept reminding me how much better that show used to be and how much better she looked with dark hair. This season kicked off much better. Also, Robin is basically the straight version of me so I kind of have to love that. While it is not perfect, the show generally avoids treating its female characters like empty stereotypes, or solely there as sex objects. Instead, Robin and Lily get to have actual personalities. Of course, it is a sitcom, not a perfect world, but still enough to make me laugh and keep watching.
Glee: Ugh, I have such a love-hate relationship with this show. Loves: Mercedes, Santana's gay storyline last season, Kurt about 95% of the time, most of the music, Quinn's new look. Hates: Plot inconsistencies, recycling the whole "Sue and the Cheerios try to destroy Glee Club" thing, Will's plots (and rapping), lack of consistent plotlines!!!
So anyway I did not think it was a strong return. I liked the Go-Go's song, Quinn's new look, and Kurt and Blaine's homo love made me smile. I did not like the excessive showtunes, the girl who butchered "Big Spender", the random kids who did that mash up of "Anything Goes" (which I was in back in grade 11) and "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better." Is this one of those Glee Project kids? Did we really need new characters that auditioned through some kind of weird reality show thing? Seriously? Also, the whole episode felt exactly like last season's premiere, only without sending someone to a crack house. And I realized at the end that this is a show I would have given up on if it wasn't for the gay content. . . I want to love this show, but it annoys the shit out of me more often than it should.
Unforgettable aka New Cop Show!!! starring someone from an old cop show I loved!!! I am happy. Poppy Montgomery was my favourite on Without a Trace so now she is rocking red hair on her own cop show. Weird-ish twist, her character can't forget anything (apparently a real thing) so that could be neat. Also featuring: stereotypical became a cop to solve personal childhood drama thing, love interest cop partner, strange flashbacks of things we already saw, and typical cop show formula. My assessment: nothing overly new, but I love cop shows, even when they are all the same. Plus, pilot episodes are often less than great because they have to set up and introduce the characters, so I am hoping that it will improve over the weeks because I want to love this show.
Grey's Anatomy: I love this show. Even when it wasn't so good. Luckily this season premiere was good. Cristina's speech to Meredith about why she didn't want a kid = amazing. Pretty much explains how I feel about having kids (except I am not a surgeon). Meredith's speech to Owen about Cristina, also amazing. And a beautiful illustration of a fantastic friendship. Also [spoiler alert] a main character on a prime time drama actually has an abortion. No convenient miscarriages, no sudden personality changes into perfect mommy. She has the abortion. This is a big fucking deal because this legal medical procedure is extremely rarely shown on TV, particularly for main characters. And it keeps with the character that we have come to know and love. It is the right choice for Cristina. That doesn't make it easy. Also, I am very happy that Owen was able to see her side and go with her.
I could say a lot about the rest of the episode, but this is important to me.
Prime Suspect: BEST NEW SHOW OF THE FALL SEASON!!!! According to my non-expert opinion. Maria Bello kicks some serious ass and might be my favourite actress this week. Plus this show basically says "So you think sexism in the workplace is dead? You are wrong assholes" and tells it like it is. Her coworkers hate her for no reason except that she is a woman. Sure they say it is because they think she slept her way to the top, but if she were a man, nobody would be questioning her right to be there. Nobody would be looking for an excuse to hate her. She would just be one of the guys. Which she essentially is anyway. She spits, gets angry, chases down suspects, gets punched in the fucking face, all to be the best cop she can be. She is working 10x harder for less than half the respect. So people who say we don't need feminism anymore can fuck off. It is not all better yet. And Prime Suspect is not afraid to tell the truth. Gritty and harsh as it may be. It is an incredible new show.
2 Broke Girls and New Girl are the comedies that I am willing to give a chance. Headlined by women that I generally like (Kat Dennings and Zooey Deschanel respectively), I am giving both shows a shot. The pilots felt kind of pilot-y and a little generic, but that happens. I am reserving judgement for now.
CSI and SVU are old, consistent favourites of mine. Formula cop shows that are basically always the same, even with cast changes. I love them for the same reasons I loved them back in high school. I like criminal law, I like law enforcement, I like watching people solve the cases.
Finally, I am giving The Playboy Club a chance. Even though it is about the Playboy Club. And tries to pretend it is empowering to women. Which it is not. There is nothing empowering about making yourself a sexual fantasy, a sex object for men. Even on the show, one girl (out/"label-free but in a serious relationship with a woman" actress Amber Heard) gets attacked by a guy because she didn't let him touch her after dancing with him. Another character is a bunny so she can get money for her underground gay rights organization (aka the reason I am giving this show a chance) and another seems to be trying to be the first black centerfold because the rest of the world is more racist, not because this is a great goal in and of itself. Choice does not always mean something is empowering. It means maybe being a Playboy bunny was preferable to being a housewife or whatever other limited options were available to women. When all your choices are shitty, sex object might not be the worst thing. At least you get paid. But that doesn't make it empowering.
So fall TV is upon us. Is it too much to hope for something good from the shows I love? I think it matters what is portrayed on TV. The images we see help us shape our worldviews. Visibility matters. It helps. If we want things to really get better, TV can help. It matter to me and I hope I see some things worth talking about this season.
So my television agenda for this season looks like this so far: How I Met Your Mother, Glee, Unforgettable, Grey's Anatomy, Prime Suspect, 2 Broke Girls, New Girl, Law and Order SVU, CSI, and The Playboy Club. I am not yet 100% committed to all of them but I will in brief detail why I am giving them a shot. Sidenote: I would love to say that I could review my TV weekly, or give some thoughts or analysis, but realistically, it won't happen. Life is too busy and I often fall behind but who knows what might happen.
How I Met Your Mother: Sometimes I don't remember why I still watch this show. It is funny, but last season kind of sucked. All I really remember is that Cameron from House was in it and kept reminding me how much better that show used to be and how much better she looked with dark hair. This season kicked off much better. Also, Robin is basically the straight version of me so I kind of have to love that. While it is not perfect, the show generally avoids treating its female characters like empty stereotypes, or solely there as sex objects. Instead, Robin and Lily get to have actual personalities. Of course, it is a sitcom, not a perfect world, but still enough to make me laugh and keep watching.
Glee: Ugh, I have such a love-hate relationship with this show. Loves: Mercedes, Santana's gay storyline last season, Kurt about 95% of the time, most of the music, Quinn's new look. Hates: Plot inconsistencies, recycling the whole "Sue and the Cheerios try to destroy Glee Club" thing, Will's plots (and rapping), lack of consistent plotlines!!!
So anyway I did not think it was a strong return. I liked the Go-Go's song, Quinn's new look, and Kurt and Blaine's homo love made me smile. I did not like the excessive showtunes, the girl who butchered "Big Spender", the random kids who did that mash up of "Anything Goes" (which I was in back in grade 11) and "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better." Is this one of those Glee Project kids? Did we really need new characters that auditioned through some kind of weird reality show thing? Seriously? Also, the whole episode felt exactly like last season's premiere, only without sending someone to a crack house. And I realized at the end that this is a show I would have given up on if it wasn't for the gay content. . . I want to love this show, but it annoys the shit out of me more often than it should.
Unforgettable aka New Cop Show!!! starring someone from an old cop show I loved!!! I am happy. Poppy Montgomery was my favourite on Without a Trace so now she is rocking red hair on her own cop show. Weird-ish twist, her character can't forget anything (apparently a real thing) so that could be neat. Also featuring: stereotypical became a cop to solve personal childhood drama thing, love interest cop partner, strange flashbacks of things we already saw, and typical cop show formula. My assessment: nothing overly new, but I love cop shows, even when they are all the same. Plus, pilot episodes are often less than great because they have to set up and introduce the characters, so I am hoping that it will improve over the weeks because I want to love this show.
Grey's Anatomy: I love this show. Even when it wasn't so good. Luckily this season premiere was good. Cristina's speech to Meredith about why she didn't want a kid = amazing. Pretty much explains how I feel about having kids (except I am not a surgeon). Meredith's speech to Owen about Cristina, also amazing. And a beautiful illustration of a fantastic friendship. Also [spoiler alert] a main character on a prime time drama actually has an abortion. No convenient miscarriages, no sudden personality changes into perfect mommy. She has the abortion. This is a big fucking deal because this legal medical procedure is extremely rarely shown on TV, particularly for main characters. And it keeps with the character that we have come to know and love. It is the right choice for Cristina. That doesn't make it easy. Also, I am very happy that Owen was able to see her side and go with her.
I could say a lot about the rest of the episode, but this is important to me.
Prime Suspect: BEST NEW SHOW OF THE FALL SEASON!!!! According to my non-expert opinion. Maria Bello kicks some serious ass and might be my favourite actress this week. Plus this show basically says "So you think sexism in the workplace is dead? You are wrong assholes" and tells it like it is. Her coworkers hate her for no reason except that she is a woman. Sure they say it is because they think she slept her way to the top, but if she were a man, nobody would be questioning her right to be there. Nobody would be looking for an excuse to hate her. She would just be one of the guys. Which she essentially is anyway. She spits, gets angry, chases down suspects, gets punched in the fucking face, all to be the best cop she can be. She is working 10x harder for less than half the respect. So people who say we don't need feminism anymore can fuck off. It is not all better yet. And Prime Suspect is not afraid to tell the truth. Gritty and harsh as it may be. It is an incredible new show.
2 Broke Girls and New Girl are the comedies that I am willing to give a chance. Headlined by women that I generally like (Kat Dennings and Zooey Deschanel respectively), I am giving both shows a shot. The pilots felt kind of pilot-y and a little generic, but that happens. I am reserving judgement for now.
CSI and SVU are old, consistent favourites of mine. Formula cop shows that are basically always the same, even with cast changes. I love them for the same reasons I loved them back in high school. I like criminal law, I like law enforcement, I like watching people solve the cases.
Finally, I am giving The Playboy Club a chance. Even though it is about the Playboy Club. And tries to pretend it is empowering to women. Which it is not. There is nothing empowering about making yourself a sexual fantasy, a sex object for men. Even on the show, one girl (out/"label-free but in a serious relationship with a woman" actress Amber Heard) gets attacked by a guy because she didn't let him touch her after dancing with him. Another character is a bunny so she can get money for her underground gay rights organization (aka the reason I am giving this show a chance) and another seems to be trying to be the first black centerfold because the rest of the world is more racist, not because this is a great goal in and of itself. Choice does not always mean something is empowering. It means maybe being a Playboy bunny was preferable to being a housewife or whatever other limited options were available to women. When all your choices are shitty, sex object might not be the worst thing. At least you get paid. But that doesn't make it empowering.
So fall TV is upon us. Is it too much to hope for something good from the shows I love? I think it matters what is portrayed on TV. The images we see help us shape our worldviews. Visibility matters. It helps. If we want things to really get better, TV can help. It matter to me and I hope I see some things worth talking about this season.
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