Growing up was not easy for me. I didn't feel like anyone really knew me. I didn't have any confidence or sense of who I was going to be. I didn't see myself anywhere. I didn't have a role model. I didn't feel like anyone could really see me for me. I had to reshape my whole understanding of the world as I got older and started to accept who I am. I had to make my own way, set my own terms, make my own mistakes, pick myself back up and find my own strength.
I found my soul through music, my heart through movies, my mind through books, and my strength through the life I've lived. I've learned a lot, most of it the hard way. I know it helps to feel understood. It helps to see yourself reflected in your popular culture, in music, TV shows, movies, and books. It helps to have someone like you making a positive impact, someone to look up to. Visibility. It helps. And it helps to be seen. It helps to know that even if they don't completely understand, someone sees you for who you really are. They see past the illusions, the walls, the front you put up. Humans seem to have a need to be acknowledged, almost more than we need to feel understood. We want our world to see us. That is the other side of visibility. It is more than just what we see. We also need to be seen.
Or at least I do. I have been lucky to grow up in a time where there were positive female images in my world, not enough, but some. And there were even a few gay female images for me to take in as a kid. Very few, and mostly limited, but better than it used to be. But I never saw myself. The images I saw didn't feel like me. I didn't feel seen in my real life either. I felt invisible, like I was disappearing. I was fading fast, losing all sense of who I was and nobody seemed to notice. Of course it was only because I was pushing everyone away, but it still hurt. I didn't see my reflection and I felt invisible.
Some people ask why I care so much about movies, about gay characters on TV, about any of it. I think this answers that question. It matters because all of the progress that has been made is not enough. We sit here saying that it gets better, and it does. But not fast enough. It needs to get better faster. The whole world needs to change. We need to wake up. We are not in a place where we can say that it doesn't matter anymore. I am not saying that TV and movies are going to save the world. I am not that naive. Our world leaders need to stop equating homosexuality with sin, evil, sickness, or anything less than equal. People need to start being kinder to each other. We need to treat others better. But pop culture is part of the equation too. The more positive images of gay people that are out there, and the greater variety that these images show, can help reduce stereotyping, fear and hatred. At least that is what I believe.
I also believe that these images can have the ability to help kids who feel alone. Maybe they will see someone with a similar story in a wide release movie, or on their favourite show and maybe it will help them feel understood and seen by their world. We need a variety of positive images of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender characters on our TV's and in our movies. And we need to wake up. Our world has changed and it is better. In Canada, sexual orientation was not a protected ground of discrimination in the Charter until 1995. That is not that long ago. It has gotten better. But that does not mean that it is time to stop fighting. There is still a lot that needs to change. It needs to get even better. We can all make a difference, make a change, and make it better. We all need to be seen and accepted.
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