Visibility matters. This is part of the tagline of AfterEllen.com, an awesome lesbian entertainment website and it is so true. Gay and lesbian visibility matters. It is important to help people understand that gay people aren't scary. It helps gay people feel less alone. Seeing yourself represented in your popular culture is important because it is something that we share. This is partly why so many gay ladies kept watching The L Word long after it had stopped being a show worth watching.
I could probably go on for days about lesbian visibility in movies, on TV and in music. It is something I feel very strongly about. But for today, I want to talk about the show The Voice. A singing competition show that I have fallen completely in love with. Also featuring two out lesbians in the top 4! This is a big deal. It is something that doesn't happen very often. And both ladies were voted into the top 4 by being the top voted members of their teams. Both are extremely amazing singers and enthralling performers. I hope to hell they pull off successful careers.
Vicci Martinez kills every performance she does. She has an amazing voice and ridiculous energy every time she takes the stage. Her voice hits a place in my heart that almost hurts due to the honesty and emotion that she puts into everything. I have watched her performance of 'Dog Days Are Over' so many times that I lost count.
Beverly McClellan is a 41 year old lesbian with a shaved head, facial piercings and lots of tattoos. She could never pass as straight. And last night she performed wearing a plaid shirt, a bandana, jeans and work boots, singing 'Beautiful' with Christina Aguilera and it kind of got me emotional. Beverly is beautiful. There is more than one way to be beautiful. Truth and honesty are beautiful. Seeing this performance made me feel so happy and a little less alone out in this world. Visibility matters. It does make a difference.
So why does this matter so much to me? Maybe because I grew up with a very limited number of pop culture portrayals of lesbians. Maybe that made it harder for me to accept myself. I didn't see myself anywhere. The only lesbians I saw anywhere for a long time were KD Lang, Melissa Etheridge and Ellen DeGeneres, who are all pretty great. But I am not butch, I am not an awesome rock star, and I was old enough to get that Ellen's career kind of tanked for a while after she came out. Also in my actual life, only my 8th grade French teacher was a lesbian and everyone hated her. She yelled at us a lot and had a mullet. I couldn't see my future in the images that I had. I knew I wasn't like everyone else, but was this really what I had to look forward to? Anger and mullets? By now I have the perspective to see how silly I was being, but at 13 I just felt scared and alone.
I am not saying that greater gay visibility would have made it easier, but it might have helped. It could have made a big difference for me. The lesbian movies of the 90s like But I'm a Cheerleader, Better than Chocolate and The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love weren't exactly movies that I was either aware of or able to see at the time. I was a kid in Fredericton, NB. I didn't actually know anyone that I knew was gay. The only lesbians I remember seeing on TV very often were Carol and Susan on Friends. I didn't see myself anywhere reflected back. It was lonely. I was afraid. I didn't feel like I knew how to be who I really was.
I hope greater visibility can help. I hope it really does get better. I hope gay kids can feel better about themselves than I did. I hope for so much to change that it no longer feels almost revolutionary to have 2 lesbians on a reality competition show. I hope we can all feel a little less alone.
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