This is a post about The L Word. I am re-watching the first season and remembering what this show meant before it became what it was when it ended. When it began, it was so special. The first show about lesbians for lesbians. It premiered in 2004 but I first watched it in 2006. I watched it around the time I was starting to come out to people around me, so it definitely was a big part of a very big time in my life.
The pilot opens with the beautiful openings of "The Pleasure Song" by Marianne Faithful. Her haunting voice and that song over the view of Los Angeles, the image of Bette and Tina in their bed, two women in love, it was the start of something special. If I can forget how it would end, I can almost feel that way again watching the pilot.
When I watch this show, there are different characters and storylines that resonate differently depending on my current circumstances. I feel differently now than I did when I first saw it. But some things don't change. Seeing people like me on TV, seeing my stories, feeling like I was alright, like I belong, like there was something for me, all that mattered. These were women that you don't always see on TV. Bette represented someone that I might aspire to be like in my professional life, Shane represented the epitome of lesbian cool, Alice was fun and funny like a best friend, Dana represented some of the awkwardness of life, Jenny showed the pain and the confusion of changing your sense of identity. These people were my people.
Visibility helps. Visibility, seeing our stories being told, the sense of belonging, it all helps a person to feel less alone, less alienated, and more like a person who can finally see themselves reflected in the world around them. It broke through the loneliness a bit. It is so lonely to look around you and see nothing familiar. It is like staring into a mirror and seeing nothing reflected back at you. So seeing something, even a silly TV show, that reflects something and someone like you can help with those feelings.
And the first season was pretty damn good television. The storylines were interesting, the acting was great, and the characters felt real. We had role models, style icons, and lots of gay women on TV. I loved it. I loved the first 2 seasons so much. I saw gay women living their lives on my television week after week, and I felt less alone. It is just entertainment, but pop culture can matter too. It can make a scared kid who is just starting to edge her way out of the closet and just starting to let people know who she really is to see that it is alright to feel this way. It is ok to be gay. It can be fun and glamorous and painful and scary and funny and everything else that life is supposed to be. It can offer hope that things will be ok. It gave me hope that I would be ok, the being out could still offer a life full of everything I had wanted.
Even knowing how it ends, I can honestly say that I love The L Word. And I wouldn't be quite the same if it hadn't happened.
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